Relationships are tricky. Mostly because we as human animals are tricky. Relationships of all sorts include times of boredom, fun, excitement and disappointment (among others). It can be difficult to hang on to the idea that these feelings mean nothing in the short term. Relationships are a long game thing which runs counter to our tendency to favor instant gratification. This can be easy to grasp with coworkers and family (because we have to tolerate them) and more difficult to remember in more intimate dynamics like lovers and friends.
In a world where convenience is the norm and the pace dizzying – the grass will regularly be greener elsewhere. Its easy to fantasize yourself away from the comfortable familiarity of morning breath and the annoying quirks that we experience in a place of safety with people we love. Notice when your wanderlust longings start. When you question who you are sleeping with or are friends with – have those people been anxious or going through a difficult time? Probably. That may be all it is. People aren’t as appealing during those times. I’m not either I’m sure.
We also become so accustomed to the frenetic pace of life (despite being not so well suited to it) that periods of calm can be mistaken for boredom or a familiar person can seem wrong. It will happen with anyone we are around long enough. When we feel bad or bored that is what is reflected back to us. All people will disappoint us. Just as we will disappoint them.
The theme of putting thoughts and feelings in their rightful place spreads all over my blog because it feels so very important. Feelings and thoughts are always real, but they need to be put in context. I used to be a person who would change my trajectory because of singular thoughts and feelings. I assumed they were permanent, factual. Its tiring and confusing and lots of people got hurt (mostly myself). Were some of those moves the right ones? Sure. So important. But those changes could have been made with 98% less stress and heartache if I understood to look for themes not whims. . . I took the picture below yesterday and it reminded me of all this – sometimes the wrong way can look very appealing. . .
But what of today? What shimmers in your life*? Because there’s likely something not far from the fantasies that would be a shame to miss out on.
*And if there’s nothing that you can see/feel, reach out – you don’t have to do this alone. We’re not meant to.