Not an appropriate title for a professional, I know. However it is the pervasive feeling here in the south this time of year, when the demands of life remain the same but the world around us begins to close in. I feel it in my bones, the deep heated heaviness, it seeps in my brain and makes me think that perhaps things have gone awry. Because I feel slow and heavy am I sad? Depressed? Out of shape? Ugly? Unlovable? Doomed? Why is it that these feelings cause our brains to make up stories about why they are there? I know the answer of course (when I have access to my more rational bits): we are built to categorize things and make quick judgements because we originated in an environment that required that to not be eaten. But we are not in that environment anymore in the literal sense. Figuratively? Perhaps. But what I do know is that all of that quick judgement and conclusion jumping is still there, looking eagerly for a target and often they are used on ourselves and that can be a difficult thing to cope with. If there isn’t trouble in the environment, we manufacture it for ourselves. So, I’m dragging ass . . . because its hot . . . and that makes me feel kind of sad. . . What if we just let it be that? Well, that’s my experiment this summer. My hypothesis: if I wait it out and don’t make it mean anything about my character then it will change, like it always does and there will be less self pity residue to clean up after. . .